Eurkeka!!!!

So here I am again, and this time I figured out the crisis i was going through. I am going to keep going to school as I am, and teach myself with the aide of amazing websites, books and amazingly talented friends to do what i LOVE. Just call me an apprentice! I have already learned a ton from a couple of awesome websites that I was able to find with the help of my loving and oh so understanding husband, and a little thing i like to call Google. I took so smashing shots the other day and though they aren't professional quality just yet, they will be with practice and some better lenses. Right now, I am working with just regular amateur lenses, which incidentally is perfect since im an amateur. I am going to take some time this weekend after the two soccer games and whatever other thing that we have going on to go out into the world and start snapping. Im not sure what sort of photographer I want to be, but I am leaning toward portrait, and possibly boudoir eventually. I under no circumstances will ever ever be a wedding photographer. I see what the owner and founder of http://yourlifephoto.blogspot.com/ Stacey Salerno goes through, she just happens to be one of my very best friends (total name drop right there) and she goes through so much stress, its not at all something that I would ever want to deal with. I would shoot second at a wedding, but never lead. I have loved photography since, what seems like forever, so I am determined to do this. I am going to start out small once i get the talent needed to do photos. I had such a blast doing the team photos this season, so I think that Im going to put my name on the list as a photographer for Parks and Rec, and use that to hone my skills a bit. 
I know i can do this, just going to take time and patience, which i have none of. 
I do find myself feeling a bit jealous of my photographer friends though, if we are being honest. But, not in an " I wish they would stop being successful" kinda way. I just wish that I had been able to realize my dream as a younger person like they did. 
I also sit back and learn from their stresses and see how they correct them, so when it comes time for me to hop in the game, thanks to them, i will be better able to cope with the inner workings of the profession than I normally would. 
The other aspect of my being able to improve my ability is having enough money to get the equipment that is needed. That is a whoooole other thing entirely. So if there is anyone out there who is selling camera lenses for Nikon, lemme know! 
Ill get there, eventually :) I just have to have faith in self and in the plan that the world has for me i guess.